Every toddler needs a great amount of love and attention! There are many ways to show that you love your toddler—gaze lovingly into his eyes, talk with him, tell him how much you love him, snuggle with him, read to him, and listen to him. Studies have shown that loving words truly improve your toddler’s overall development. Likewise, harsh tones or insulting words create stress and slow down your toddler’s brain development. Avoid speaking negatively to your toddler, and tell him you love him often.
The information in this article is geared toward adults who provide care for toddlers in groups, but can be helpful to any adult caring for a new walker!
Attention Please!
Toddlers seek attention in both positive and negative ways. Positive ways of getting your attention include putting a toy in your lap, using words or gestures to communicate a need, or giving you a hug. Negative ways of getting your attention include flushing objects down the toilet, running out of the room or building, fighting with other children or siblings, or damaging property. The best way to avoid negative attention-seeking behavior is to give your child or classroom of children lots of positive, individual attention.
At the start of each day, give the toddler in your life meaningful eye contact (at her level). Ask how she is feeling today, or compliment her new polka-dot shirt. Touch her shoulder and tell her how happy you are to have her in your life today. Encourage her throughout the day. For example, say, “you are working very hard in the block area,” or, “I like how carefully you poured your juice at snack time!”
Solving Problems Together
Use your toddlers’ mistakes as opportunities to learn. For example, when your toddler squeezes the glue bottle too hard, you can say, “Oops! It looks like there’s too much glue on the plate. When you squeezed the bottle hard, too much glue came out on the plate. How can you squeeze the bottle next time? How do you think we can get the glue back in the bottle?”
When you include your toddler in finding solutions to life’s many problems and mistakes, he’ll learn rules, and he’ll learn how to solve problems on his own. Older toddlers are more likely to give solutions to these kinds of problems than younger toddlers. Younger toddlers, however, should still be given a chance to solve problems.
Younger toddlers may communicate with body language, gestures, or word fragments. Do your best to understand their ideas for solving problems. Try their ideas, even if you know they won’t work. When you try what they suggest, they learn that you value their ideas. They are also encouraged to try solving problems in the future.
Self-help and People Skills
Like infants, toddlers rely a great deal on a loving caregiver for their basic needs. When you respond to your toddler’s needs, she learns that she can trust you and that she is cared for! When your toddler is hungry, she needs you to provide her with healthy foods from your culture and her home culture.
Looking through the lens of my training and culture, expect your toddler to eat with her fingers, and allow her to use a toddler spoon when she shows interest. When she is dirty, she needs you to bathe her—seriously, don’t leave a small child alone in a tub or around a tub of water as this is life threatening—I’ve heard some horrible stories L Make sure her clothes are appropriate for the weather and fit her comfortably. Be mindful of her need to sleep, and plan activities around her sleeping schedule, when you can.
Independence and Safe Exploration
When your toddler learned to walk, he started his journey toward independence. With that independence, comes exploration. When your toddler begins to explore, remember that he is too inexperienced to keep himself safe. Provide a safe environment for your toddler, and always be sure your toddler’s activities are supervised, because children this age can be quick and they can be into something new and possibly dangerous fast!
Toddler Tantrums
The toddler years are tough years for many care providers. These small children say “no” to just about every suggestion. When things don’t go a toddler’s way, screaming fits are a common response. Understanding that this is normal behavior will help guide your responses to trying situations.
If your toddler is having a tantrum, make sure he cannot harm himself, another person, or property, and allow him to calm down on his own. To do this, ideally, you may need to remove him from the area and place him on carpeting or another soft surface. You may also need to hold him firmly (but not too tight as to hurt him) until he can calm down. Oftentimes, the more attention you give your toddler during a tantrum, the longer it lasts. Stay near him and offer a few words of reassurance, but avoid a lot of talking. Some toddlers calm down when you bring out a favorite toy or activity.
Model the behaviors you want your toddler to learn, but do not expect him to have good table manners, to be good at sharing, to play “nicely” with other children, to not be jealous of attention given to other children, or to be thankful when things are done for him—he’s just too little!
Asking for Your Toddler’s Attention
Toddlers may say “no” to hugs and affection, as well. Do not push your toddler into giving affection when he doesn’t want to be affectionate. This idea may bump up against your cultural expectations, but in my culture, there is value in teaching respect for one’s body early, and saying “no” to unwanted touches. Reassure him that he can give hugs and kisses when it feels right to him. This may be embarrassing when you visit grandma, but it’s important to respect his wishes in this area. You can explain to grandma that he’s learning to say “no,” and that you’re helping him learn about respecting his body by not making him give hugs and kisses unless it’s his choice.
Toilet Training
Toilet training is another important developmental stage for toddlers. There are many ideas about the best way to toilet train. To discover what works best for you and your toddler, talk with professional child care providers and read books that offer advice—this process greatly depends on the individual children learning and I am not an expert in this area!
Remember, all children develop differently! One child might get the hang of it at an early age, while another takes a bit longer. While your toddler is still in diapers, be sure to remove dirty diapers right away. Replace each dirty diaper with a clean diaper that is neither too loose nor too tight.
I Can Dress Myself!
Now’s the time to start giving your toddler some say in dressing himself. When he’s ready, give him choices between two different outfits, shirts, or other clothing items. Getting dressed involves quite a few motor skills besides thinking about what you’d like to wear—so be patient and supportive. Over time, you can add being aware of what the weather is and what you should wear.